An Answer to My Prayer

Every once in a while I have had the privilege of knowing for certain that the Lord loves me in spite of myself. Yesterday was the end of a very bad run of days for me and I felt like I was at the end of my rope and that I was a bomb waiting to explode any minute. It was during those last moments of despair that I received an email from my brother (whom I rarely hear from). His was a short email that sent me a link to a talk. My inbox read, "hey Nichole you should read this talk." I did, and I simply can't explain the way it made me feel without crying. It reaffirmed to me that the Lord was listening to my unspoken prayers of the heart and that He really does want me to feel happy and fulfilled as a mother. He loves me and is constantly teaching me what it means to be a good parent. For the sake of time, I will just copy and paste what I wrote to my brother, Justin, to remember this by:


Hey Justin, ...I feel it is important that I thank you for this beautiful talk and for obviously following a prompting from the Holy Ghost. I have been having a really hard time this week and have felt like a failure in more than many ways (but mostly at being a good mom). I just put the kids down for naps and was coming down to study my scriptures and to seek encouragement and help because I've been feeling down and depressed a bit this morning. I noticed that I had left the computer on and thought, well, I might as well check my email before I turn it off. Then I saw your sweet little email saying that I should read this talk, and I felt the spirit tell me that it was an answer to my prayer, before I even opened it. So, I clicked on the link and as soon as I saw the name of the talk the tears started flowing from my eyes, and they haven't stopped. Thank you so much for saving me today. I hope that you know how much this simple thing has made a difference in my life today and hopefully for many days to come. My testimony has been strengthened that the Lord is aware of me as an individual and that He answers my prayers (through you and others). I know that He lives and loves me- thanks for reminding me. I had forgotten what it felt like to feel encompassed about by such love that I needed to cry, not just cry, but weep like a baby. I wanted to express this too you on the phone, but perhaps this email will suffice seeing as how my phones aren't working. This way you can look back at it too and know that you were an instrument in the Lords hands. Maybe someday down the line you will want to save this email to help you remember that the Lord speaks to you and that when we listen we can influence the lives of others for good. I know you don't need that lesson right now, but maybe someday you will. Thank heavens for a good family! I thank Heavenly Father right now for sending me such a sweet and loving younger brother that is worthy of and eager to follow the Spirit! What a blessing you are in my life. I love you Justin! Keep up the great work. You are such a special kid. I hope you know that you have given me the motivation I needed, at a time when I was desperate for it, to keep on the wonderful and very challenging job of motherhood. Love,Nichole

here is the link for the talk, in case anyone is curious what it said and how it could possibly help you.

http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-64-16,00.html